Humanity Kind of Blows
Something that really stuck out to me in this week's reading was actually at the very beginning of book 3. Now, I may take this out of context a little, but bear with me.. I'm about to get real personal.
In the beginning of book three, it was said, "My hunger was internal, deprived of inward food, that is of you yourself, my God. But that was not the kind of hunger I felt. I was without any desire for incorruptible nourishment, not because I was replete with it, but the emptier I was, the more unappetizing such food became. So my soul was rotten in health." Honestly, this hit me like a brick wall. I read this and just thought to myself, 'How can someone stray so far from the truth like that? How can someone who has truly experienced the awesomeness that is God Himself just go away from it?' Then I realized, 'Crap Cade... this is talking about specifically you.' So often, more times than not honestly, I catch myself in this "state". I find myself running from God. It isn't that I do it just with a rebellious heart either. I don't have a desire to be away from God, it's just sometimes I don't want to wake up and read my bible. I don't want to go to church on Sundays, or listen to christian music, or pray, or even talk about Jesus, and the more I don't do those things, the more I want to stay away from them. And if we are being completely honest here, I do not know why. I have experienced God's power in my life more ways than I can count. I have been blessed beyond measures, and loved more than I ever thought possible, yet I still abandon ship for no good reason. God is way too good for me to keep doing this over and over, and I know this to be true, yet I do it anyways. That's insanity right? I do not want to use the excuse, "It's because I'm human, so I will sin," because Titus talks about how we as humans have the power to say no to all ungodliness after we have become saved, (I believe the reference is Titus 2:11-14, but if i am wrong please correct me) so i just think that is a bad excuse. Humanity just sucks. But anyways, I don't remember what my point or conclusion was. I think I had one when I started this, but it is gone now, so I guess I'm finished. I don't know if that made sense at all, but that's just what went through my head. Sorry for ranting, but there's my life in a nutshell. Hope you enjoy.
I commented on Moriah's and Gray's.
In the beginning of book three, it was said, "My hunger was internal, deprived of inward food, that is of you yourself, my God. But that was not the kind of hunger I felt. I was without any desire for incorruptible nourishment, not because I was replete with it, but the emptier I was, the more unappetizing such food became. So my soul was rotten in health." Honestly, this hit me like a brick wall. I read this and just thought to myself, 'How can someone stray so far from the truth like that? How can someone who has truly experienced the awesomeness that is God Himself just go away from it?' Then I realized, 'Crap Cade... this is talking about specifically you.' So often, more times than not honestly, I catch myself in this "state". I find myself running from God. It isn't that I do it just with a rebellious heart either. I don't have a desire to be away from God, it's just sometimes I don't want to wake up and read my bible. I don't want to go to church on Sundays, or listen to christian music, or pray, or even talk about Jesus, and the more I don't do those things, the more I want to stay away from them. And if we are being completely honest here, I do not know why. I have experienced God's power in my life more ways than I can count. I have been blessed beyond measures, and loved more than I ever thought possible, yet I still abandon ship for no good reason. God is way too good for me to keep doing this over and over, and I know this to be true, yet I do it anyways. That's insanity right? I do not want to use the excuse, "It's because I'm human, so I will sin," because Titus talks about how we as humans have the power to say no to all ungodliness after we have become saved, (I believe the reference is Titus 2:11-14, but if i am wrong please correct me) so i just think that is a bad excuse. Humanity just sucks. But anyways, I don't remember what my point or conclusion was. I think I had one when I started this, but it is gone now, so I guess I'm finished. I don't know if that made sense at all, but that's just what went through my head. Sorry for ranting, but there's my life in a nutshell. Hope you enjoy.
I commented on Moriah's and Gray's.
I agree 100% with you. The first part of the book I saw myself in. I don’t think someone who has a relationship with God and desires him necessarily runs from him, it’s just think we have other desires and dreams we want to accomplish but we forget per day to include God. Plus humans are naturally really lazy. Especially when it come to holding up our walk with God, like praying or reading our Bible, because we get caught up with many things or we just want to sleep. We are human and so was Augustine he struggled with the same things other Christians did which is why I like the first part of book three so much.
ReplyDeleteSo many of us seem to have seen parallels between Augustine’s confessions, and our own confessions of sin. It’s so interesting how this narrative still applies today.
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